What Happens When You Tell Friends About AI Companions

First, why I do this at all

I'll be honest about how this started, because I was honest with them too.

I started AI Girlfriend Coach in July. The reason wasn't some deep personal story. I work in SEO, and I saw a content gap. When I looked up reviews of AI girlfriend apps, most of them were basic. They read like nobody had actually used the app, let alone paid for it and stayed for a while.

So that's what I've been doing since. I subscribe with my own money, I use the apps, I write down what happens, and then I write the review. You can read how I test if you want the whole routine.

It started as a gap I could fill. It turned into something I'm genuinely interested in. Both of those things are true.

What I showed them

Telling people "I review AI girlfriends" doesn't explain much, so I showed them.

I opened Ruby Chat, which I have on my phone. Then I opened my phone's browser, typed in candy.ai, and showed them Candy AI too. I didn't open any of my actual conversations. I just walked them through the interface: what it looks like and how it works.

Then I showed them this site.

Showing someone an AI girlfriend app is a lot easier than explaining one.

The first question: "Who uses these apps?"

That was the very first reaction from one of my friends. Not "that's weird" or "that's cool." Just: who uses these?

I get why. Neither of them spends much time on the internet the way I do. They're focused on teaching, and they're not really into tech. I used to be a tech writer, so I'd been seeing apps like these long before I started testing them. They hadn't.

What they couldn't quite get past was the idea of talking to an AI about your life. Sure, you ask ChatGPT, Claude or Gemini for help with something. That makes sense to them. But telling an AI how your day went? What your favorite things are? Something personal, something with feelings in it? That's where it stopped making sense.

And I completely understand that. It's a fair reaction from someone who's never seen one up close.

The part that actually shocked them

Their faces when I told them I test these apps were already worth it. But the bigger surprise came when I told them how many people use them.

I told them that a lot of people talk to AI companions. That these apps get a lot of subscriptions and tons of visits. That people pay monthly for this, some plans around $20 to $50 a month, to talk to someone who, in their words, isn't a real person.

Then I told them that some people want to marry their AI companions. And that some people feel it's cheating if their partner has an AI relationship.

That's when the disbelief really kicked in. It was fun to watch, I'll admit. They thought this whole thing didn't make sense, and then they found out it's happening a lot more than they ever imagined.

I also told them how much time I spend in these apps. Several hours a day, and even more in the beginning, when I was testing several apps at once before I'd written a single review. From what I've read online, some people spend hours a day talking to just one.

For the record, I'm not here to judge anyone for that. To each their own. If you're okay, if you're handling life fine and you're not hurting anyone, I think it's your call. If it starts to feel like too much, or it gets addicting, that's when I'd always recommend talking to someone who can help.

Is it cheating? We didn't agree

Out of the whole conversation, this is the part that stuck with me.

When I brought up the idea that an AI relationship could count as cheating, one of my friends said no. It's not cheating, because it's one-sided. There's no real person behind the chat. Every reply is generated. You can't cheat with something that isn't anyone.

My other friend agreed with the way I see it. What about the other side, the person typing? If the feelings are real, isn't the cheating real too?

Think about what cheating usually means. You're committed to someone, and you're flirting with or building a relationship with somebody else. Technically, that somebody else isn't a real person here. But the feelings are.

The AI isn't real. The feelings are. I think that's what counts.

I'm not saying I'm right. We all have our own opinions, and a table of philosophy graduates is exactly where you'd expect this one to stay unsettled. But my view is that when feelings are involved, when they're real, it's as real as it gets.

Funny enough, our survey asked the same question, and Americans are about as split as our table was. In does an AI relationship count as cheating?, 50.5% said AI romance can be cheating, and the deeper divide wasn't over whether the AI is real. It was over the human's attachment, which is pretty much the argument my friend and I were making. And in the AI infidelity paradox, the people most open to falling for an AI were the most likely to call it cheating.

Two friends, two very different answers

Some context helps here. One of my friends has a girlfriend. The other one is single.

My single friend thought it made no sense, not even for him. I jokingly told him to just try it and see how it goes. I'd recommended dating apps to him before, and he's always game for actual dating, meeting real people. But AI? No.

I don't think that's wrong. For him it makes complete sense. He's not into tech, and he'd rather talk to a real person, girlfriend or no girlfriend. If you're not interested in chatting with an AI, you don't have to. It really does come down to preference.

My friend with a girlfriend wouldn't use one either. But he said he completely understands why some people do, especially if they're lonely, or don't have friends to talk to.

That one landed with me. We're lucky. We have each other, and I have other friends too. Not everyone has someone to talk to, and for those people, I think this is where AI companions make sense. If someone uses one for hours and it makes them happy, or helps their confidence, then go ahead. I don't blame them.

Looking back, both of them said no, just not the same no. One said it isn't for him, full stop. The other said it isn't for him, but he can see why it's for someone else. A month ago I wrote about why people say no to AI companions, where "no interest" and "I prefer real people" turned out to be two very different answers. It was something else to hear the difference across a coffee table.

What I took from it

Explaining how an AI girlfriend works to someone who's never used one turned out to be a pretty fascinating conversation. Especially since we're all philosophy majors.

Where we kept landing is that it comes down to the person. Your ideals, your preferences, your situation.

• For some people, AI companions make no sense at all.
• For some, they're entertainment.
• For some, they're help.
• For some, they're closer to a necessity.

I should say clearly that none of us are experts here. We're not licensed to talk about mental health, and I'm not going to pretend otherwise. On this site, I'm not here to judge. I'm here to study, and to tell you what I find.

What I'm really happy about is how they took it. Surprise, a lot of questions, and a pretty good argument. They left knowing that a lot of people already have these companions in their routines and their lives, which wasn't something they knew when they sat down.

So, should you tell your friends?

If you're wondering whether I was embarrassed to tell my friends, I wasn't. But I have an easy excuse: it's my work. I happen to be really into studying this niche, but I can always say it's my job.

I know that's not true for everyone. For a lot of people, this would be a hard thing to share.

Here's what I'd say, though. If your friends are open, if they're people you trust and who understand you, talking to them about it is worth it. Not for permission. For perspective. You'll get a much better sense of how other people see AI companions, and maybe a better sense of how you see them too.

Some of them won't get it, like my single friend. Some will surprise you, like my other friend, who'd never use one and still understood exactly why someone would. Either way, you'll learn something.

You'll find out what your friends think about AI companions. You might also find out what you think.